Crazy Bitches

First I’m going to direct you to a bullet point from a very old “Dear Sugar” Column you can find on the Rumpus website. Go there, read things, feel as if you are within the inner circle. But before you do that, continue reading. You’re already here anyway, so why not? Now for the Bullet Point letter C.

c) How can it be that so many people’s ex-girlfriends are crazy? What happens to these women? Do they eventually go on to birth babies and care for their elderly parents and scramble up gigantic pans of eggs on Sunday mornings for oodles of lounge-abouts who later have the nerve to inquire about what’s for dinner or is there some corporate Rest Home for Crazy Bitches chain in cities across the land that I am unaware of that houses all these women who used to love men who later claim they were actually crazy bitches?

The thing is, internet and Sugar (although let’s not even kid that she’ll be reading this post), everyone, when it comes to relationships, has the potential to be crazy. Everyone. There is not one person in the world who is immune to falling into bat-shit-crazy-love.
 
Love makes people kill one another, first of all. Remember that astronaut story from a few years ago? Yeah that lady wore a DIAPER so that she didn’t have to stop to pee and therefore she could get to killing the potential stealer of her man faster. One could argue that she was already crazy before this point, but the love triangle is arguably the thing that set off her crazy time bomb.
 
Love also makes us become potentially convict-able stalkers. You drive past their house and WHO’S CAR IS THAT PARKED OUTSIDE? You call them 500 times if they aren’t answering and they should be. You check their facebook wall, you then click on whoever is leaving a comment or a message and research THEIR facebook wall.You call, hangup, call, hangup, call, hangup. And who are you really tormenting? Yourself.
 
The curious thing is – if you asked anyone of these people doing any one of these things, even during the time their doing the crazy dance of obsessive love, “I have a friend who is calling their girlfriend 500 times or driving past their ex boyfriends house just to torment themselves”, they would adamantly say “wow she is CRAZY!” without having the slightest awareness of their own bat-shit behaviors.

So where are all these crazy bitches? They’re in all of us. Men included. Until you find someone that doesn’t make you crazy, that sets life to a nice even pitch, who both celebrates and mourns life with you. If it’s a roller coaster ride, get off. It’s just not worth it. Besides – it gives you so much more license to judge other people when you aren’t tearing your hair out over your own ridiculous relationship.

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