When I was in college – thinking I was journalism bound (Cs in my Intro class proved to convince me otherwise) I applied for an editorial position at the newspaper I eventually became a copy editor for. Phew! Did you get through that sentence? Anyways – my sample piece for the editorial application was about the women on campus not wearing the correct size of pants. Of anything, really. I didn’t know that editorials had to be based on some sort of research so what I turned in was basically a large, hilariously ranting blog entry. I didn’t even know what a blog was at that point. Wrong audience is what I’m saying. I wish I had it on this computer but I don’t know where it went. All I remember for it is the phrase “Cascading back fat” and that everyone I showed it to thought it was really funny and really spot on because holy jesus people! Pull your two sizes too small jeans up and OVER the love handles, don’t just pinch them out creating the well described muffin top!
Fast forward 6 years later and I’m at work la di da, doing my thing when Maris texts me “You would not BELIEVE the back fat spilling out of the girl’s shirt in front of me.”
I have to admit (because I am now older and gentler) my first thought was “oh come ON maris, it can’t be that bad, stop being so judgmental!” I did. I had that thought. And I went about my busy food service, bakery ways. And then a few minutes later, that crafty maris sends me a picture text. I think my mouth actually hit the counter. I think the entire room heard my intake of breath. I’m pretty sure I started laughing immediately and not more than twenty seconds later went running to the back to show my co worker because ladies and gentlemen this is no ordinary back fat scenario.
My first response was “It’s like a BREAST is attached to her back!” my next response “WHY DOESN’T SOMEONE TELL HER NEVER TO WEAR THAT SHIRT EVER AGAIN!”
I have been called insensitive and judgmental, yes. But sometimes you just have to laugh at the ridiculousness of life, the human body, and lumps of fat that resemble boobs on someone elses back. Otherwise, is life really worth living?