Lists

Top ten things not to do while sick

10.) Tell boss at food service establishment you are sick. You will most likely be sent home. No moneys for you!

9.) Do not take sudafed and then decide it will be nice to go for a walk. You will be drooling and shuffling your feet back home in a druggy haze in no time!

8.) Eat greasy bar food and/or boxes of candy. They don’t digest well and will probably end up coming back up or causing you one AWFUL night in the least.

7.) Go running. It’s ok to take a day off. Otherwise, you may pass out.

6.) Do anything that has your head tilted down for long periods of time. The snot just leaks, people. It just leaks.

5.) Go anywhere, participate in, do anything involving a large room filled with rows of chairs where the temperature is turned up. Gross.

4.) Do laundry. I dunno what it is, but there is something with the hefting and the sorting and the heat and the folding plus putting away that just makes me want to die.

3.) Pack for a long long vacation. Packing always sucks. Pay someone to do it for you when you’re sick.

2.) Wear real pants. If you can get away with not wearing pants at all, for days on end, why would you?

and the number one thing NOT TO DO when you’re sick is….

1.) EAT SUSHI. It will make you WANT TO DIE later. For reals. Sage advice here people. SAGE ADVICE.

3 thoughts on “Lists”

  1. I'm not. But this one time in college I had mono. And I had to pack to go home for winter break. And I had to keep taking breaks to lay atop my duffel bags to catch my breath. It was SO BAD.

  2. One mistake I always make when sick, is I use toilet paper to blow my nose vs using real tissues.

    The rough TP always leaves my nose all red and bumpy. 🙁

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