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Entering Into My Confinement

This is probably the most unfeminist post I have ever written. But feelings.

For about a month and a half I have been so uncomfortable going out in public. I don’t know what it is specifically about this pregnancy but I am unbelievably self conscious. Like yes, yes I am sore and slow, but I also want to hide under a giant sheet and scream, “Don’t look at meeeeeee!” to everyone who passes by.

It has made me wish that there was still a socially acceptable confinement period. I mean, I don’t want it to be FORCED upon me, but if I just never left my house and only wore MuMus and people would ask, “oh, where’s Lauren?” and someone else would respond, “She’s entered into her confinement,” and the response was just a nod because, totally normal! I would be down with that. So down. I would be confined currently. Not leaving the house, not expected to go anywhere or do anything or put pants on for any reason.

Why do I feel sooooo in need to not be seen? I don’t know. I feel awkward and exposed and like nothing I wear is cute or flattering. It’s hard to feel that way every day all of the time. Most of the time I can just brush it off, go to Target, hang with the family, get things done. But I really miss feeling put together and cute. That sounds so vain and dumb coming out of my mouth. Aww poor Lauren doesn’t feel cute!

Getting dressed is stressful. I need to wear something comfortable, but I also don’t want to look like a blob. And on top of it I have to find something that fits. So far I have 2 pairs of jeans and a few work out pants. I have a few maxi dresses, but I have to wear stretchy shots under them so I don’t chafe and I need a cardigan over most of them so I do not feel super self conscious about my hip flub.

I’m sure we all feel like putting on a coat and zipping it all the way up to the neck sometimes. But I am feeling like that every day! Summer isn’t helping. So puffy, so swollen, and not even done expanding yet. Confinement would be such a relief!


Staycation O’Clock

Last week Kamel and I dropped Gabe off at my parents’ and headed over to Snoqualmie Falls and Salish Lodge for an overnight and some pregnant spa-ing. If you would like a quintessential pacific northwest hotel experience it is 100% worth it to spend a night at Snoqualmie Falls. Also it should be noted that their restaurant is one of the best I have ever experienced EVER. And it overlooks a massive waterfall! And they have chocolate souffle, of which I greatly indulged! Also the beds are magnificent even for giant pregnant me. So, here is a totally unsponsored plug. Do some getawaying and some pampering and put this one on your...


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Maris Turns 30

The milestones, they just keep coming. Of course, we all look exactly like we did 10, 15 years ago, because duh. And really all this means is that we’re now both that much wiser. Right? (Sorry for the terrible quality, I think this was for one of the joint 19th birthday celebrations ELEVEN YEARS AGO what is happening to this world?!) Maris is one of those people who I would not be me without. I literally talk to her almost every day. She is definitely one of the most driven, and smartest people I know. She is worldly, well traveled, and is a wealth of secret nerd information. Ever since Scripture class when we were 15 you have been...


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A Friendly, Grocery Store Etiquette PSA

If you see a mom shopping at the grocery store with a wailing toddler in the cart, here are some things not to do: 1.) Do not roll up on the pair, without addressing the mom (even with a sympathetic look), and start talking to the wailing toddler. 2.) Do not get down on the toddler’s level, ignoring the mom completely, and start talking to the toddler about how it’s ok to have feelings. How everyone is sad sometimes, and how everything is going to eventually be ok. 3.) How about just don’t talk to the toddler at all. 4.) How about just letting the mom pick out carrots, alone, and let her deal with her shit-head toddler who...


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Date Nights and Chore Wheels

Two questions have been asked of me at least a few times and I’ve sort of put off answering them because I thought the answers were boring. Except I love peering into all of the nooks and crannies of other people’s lives, so maybe I should just get over myself, hm? The first question that’s been racketing around is about couple time and date nights.  (Last summer, afternoon canoeing sans baby.) How do we find time to do this? Do we have a schedule? Budget? Timeline? We kind of don’t. I think it would be easier in life if we did. But! Having too many things set in stone stresses me out. Even if it was a standing date...


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Real Life: Dinner

I get pretty stoked whenever we have a successful sit down dinner experience with Gabe. Successful being he eats food and sits with us longer than 2 seconds before declaring “ALL DONE!” He isn’t a big dinner kid, I think he eats his biggest meal at lunch. Which makes it a little tricky when Kamel and I need to sit down and eat and Gabe is all “No, PLAY mama! Over ‘DER!” and I’m like, bitch I’m hungry. Anyway, the other day we had SUCCESS. And we were trying to get Gabe to say – on camera – “basgetti” as all tiny humans do, because who teaches them that? No one. It just...

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Dear Internet

This has been my motto about the internet this week. (Thanks Kelly) PS. Do you have any shitty troll and/or mean comment stories? Please do share. In hindsight they may become hilarious.


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Who the hell is she?


Seattle/Writer/Adventurer/Married to Kamel/Maker of many mistakes/Mom of 1 Gabriel and 1 TBD/Baker of things/Roaster of Vegetables/Maker of videos/Normal life photographer/Romantic/Irreverent/Honest

If you would like to chat with me or see what else I'm up to you can follow me on Twitter (betterinrealife), on facebook, or email me at betterinrealife at gmail.